Anxiety.......gone!

Today is the first day in a couple of weeks that I woke up and didn't feel anxious. Don't really know why I felt that way, but I did and I hated it! I would wake up mad, nervous, heart beating fast and frustrated and I had no idea why!
I think that I was just stressed out at first because things were beyond my control and I didn't know how to go about fixing it. Through no fault of her own, a sweet family member was in limbo and I didn't know what to do.
Second, Von died and I didn't realize until Monday night that it really pissed me off. I guess I was too caught up in guilt to realize that it makes me mad that he left so soon and that our family didn't get to say good-bye. Monday was the straw.....people just literally pissed me off! After I talked to Tom (thank goodness I have my Woobie) he made me feel better. I went to the funeral Tuesday feeling somewhat better and when they said the family prayer before the funeral I had a sense of peace come over me. I knew it was ok and I shouldn't worry about it anymore. The stuff that I was so worried about, isn't really important to Vonzie anymore. So I should let it go. I wrote him the poem and put it in his casket with a pic of he and I and I told him how much I loved him and after that, I felt at peace. He knows I love him and he loves me and that is all that matters anymore. That's the only thing left after we pass through the veil, we take our love with us.
So another thing to happen is Shaley got her own place and I am happy for her......and us. It was getting so hard on all of us and she needed to move on with her life and not wait for anyone else to do it. She will be so much happier and she and I can be best buds again! She's only in Ogden, so it's not too far and I can go steal the kids when I want to. I am glad she spent some time with us, but the time has come and now we can all get on with it! I will misss that baby though, he loves his Nan!
Now the let-down of all the emotions starts.......so here's my headache! But that I can get through. Once again I can say with peace in my heart......I love my life!


Thoughts for the day:

* Why do people say that a paper cut is the worst? Wouldn't it be worse to cut your finger with butcher knife?

* Why does my daughter's name mean a very large penis? Ha...Jordan!!! urbandictionary.com

* Why do they cancel all the shows I love the most? Am I just a dork and like stupid shows?

* Why don't I write down all my thoughts so when I do my blog I'm not trying to think of something to say? :)


Quote of the day:
* Saying good-by is only painful if you never get to say hello again.