I honestly have no idea what to write about today. It has just been a wierd day. Didn't get much sleep, think I went to bed around 2 and tossed and turned and finally woke up around 7. Feeling very sad and....I'm gonna say feeling like an A-hole. I know I did alot for Von and I also know he was a big part of my life but I honestly was such a jerk to him at times.
He just was lonesome, I get that now. I have done alot for him over the years, like clean his house, grocery shopped, drove him to the doctor, took him to get stuff for his house and taken him dinner. I also had him over for birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I really would get annoyed with him at times and now I am kicking myself for it.
The things he did that just drove me crazy were like calling 6 times a day or pulling in my driveway and honking so I would come out and talk to him. Ahhh...he would even come up to Dee's when I worked there and wait for me outside to talk to me. When he needed something he would make it sound like he needed it now or he would die(no disrespect). It's like he didn't understand that we had so much going on, with getting up at 4 a.m. and doing all the things you do for a family, work, farm and then wanting to go to bed by 9.
So now I know I sound like a snotty, selfish A-hole. It took Tom finally making me realize, that's just how Von was. Tom knew him for almost 30 years and understood him more than me. He told me about 3 months ago that Von just really gets lonely and we were pretty much his family besides his son and daughter-in-law. He didn't have anyone else. So after that I was more patient and wasn't such a brat.
But still I can't forget how I was so impatient with him and it really bothers me to the point that I am having trouble sleeping. I guess I learned a lesson, never be a jerk to anyone who needs your help, which pretty much means everyone. There are people everyday that I know who need my help. I just get so bugged sometimes because it seems like when you try to help people and try to carry them, they pick up their feet and let you do all the work. Right now I'm not talking about Von. He always was so grateful and wanted to do something for us in return so I wonder why I was such a jerk? But some people......man you do all you can to help them, guide them and give them your all and they just take advantage of it. Picking up their feet and letting you carry them. My theory has always been that people are good until they prove otherwise and I've gotten messed over quite a bit. My friend Sue Anne has a different theory......everyone's an asshole until they prove otherwise. Maybe that's the smarter approach? Probably not cause then I would be unhappy and bitter. Not that she is, just not my style. And she is the sweetest lady I know and I just love her dearly and she makes me laugh!!!
Thoughts for the day:
*When something is so far away we say "clear to Timbuktu" ,so do you think the people in Timbuktu say "clear to North America"?
*Did you know that the 'blackbox' on an airplane isn't even black? It's red or orange! So why is it called the 'blackbox'?
*Why is the grass greener on the other side?
* I'm not short, I'm fun-sized for your convenience!
* Boys have a penis and girls have a 'China'. It's a Houston thing. :)
Quote for the day:
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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